I Love You, Man
by Mile
Summary: Is now a collection of drabbles, all of them onesided Kyle/Stan and Stan/Wendy- with the rare appearance of Future!Cartman/Kyle. Drabbles. None of them are going anywhere but they're kind of related... I suppose.
1. I Love You

"I love you," _you said. But you didn't mean it. Not the way I wanted you to._

_Not the way I did._

_Because you've got her, and she's perfect. She's wonderful. I like her, and I hope you two are very happy together. I have no ill-will towards either of you._

_But why oh why couldn't you have fallen in love with me?_

_If you gave it a chance, you might fall in love with _me_. If you gave it a chance, I could be more than just your 'Super-Best-Friend.' If you gave it a chance..._

But you won't.

---AvinxMile---

A/N: Write what you know, she says.

So I did.

I can completely empathize with Kyle.


	2. Answer The Phone, Jew

_Ring! Ring! You've got a call, Jew! _

I groaned and rolled over, feeling blindly for my phone. Some time last week Cartman had felt the urge to pre-record his own ringtone and program it onto my phone. It was irritating.

_Pick up the phone, Jew! Pick up the phone, Jew!_

And while I may be extremely good at 'tekkie-shit,' as Kenny so eloquently describes it, I have no idea how to change the ringtone. It's some new model with way too many fucking features. I mean, come on, what kind of phone needs-

_ANSWER YOUR FUCKING PHONE, JEW!_

My cellphone was screaming at me now. I switched on my light and- lo and behold!- it was right there on the nightstand. Without even looking I flipped it open. That ringtone fucking pissed me off. I wanted it gone.

"Kyle…?" A small voice said from the other end of the phone, voice trailing off like a question. Even through my sleep-deprived brain, I knew who it was.

"What's wrong, Stan?" I ask. Hearing that tone from Stan, so alone and full of defeat, I'm instantly awake. Awake and scared, millions of possibilities running through my head.

Stan could be in the hospital, dying as the seconds tick by.

Stan could be in jail, and this could be his one call.

Stan could be lost in the woods, terrified and hurt.

"Wendy... cheated on me," he whispers, "Can… can you come over?"

My eyes close and I'm aware of all the reasons that this is wrong. He's emotionally unstable, he's my best friend, I think at some point I fell for him, he belongs with Wendy…

But it's _Stan_.

"I'll be right there."

---AvinxMile---

A/N: I got two reviews... And I felt like writing... And I'm working on Overlooking You! I promise! I just love writing Kyle.


	3. Two In The Morning

"Stan? You awake?"

"Mmm… 'S two in the morning, Kyle…"

"I can't sleep… It's too cold…"

"Mm… Blankets…?"

"I'm using like five… Stan?"

"Wha…?"

"Can I get in your bed?"

"Quiet then…?"

"Yeah, I'll be quiet then."

"Kay…"

Needles to say, that was the best night's sleep either of them had had in a long time.

---AvinxMile---

A/N: I found this in my old stuff. Wanted to post it. Going to look for more.


	4. Rules Of Being A Super Best Friend

_Dear Future Kyle,_

_I don't think anyone gets what it means to be a Super Best Friend. It's like the obligations of being a good best friend.. times ten. I know, I know, this is supposed to be a letter to talk about what you are like now and how you want to change, but Stan pretty much is everything to me._

_There's three guidelines we always follow; Stan dubbed them the 'RoBaSBF.' In short, the 'Rules of Being a Super Best Friend.' I just call them the rules._

_"One must always help their SBF with relationship problems."_

_I sure as hell help out Stan with Wendy whenever he needs it. I'm glad to do it. Those two fit so well together it's insane… I don't know why they fight all the time._

_"One must always share with their SBF, whether it be money, food, or clothing."_

_I do that, mostly. I mean, my clothes don't fit Stan anymore. I got tall, and he got… Short. Well, he's the same height as he used to be, but you know what I mean. But I'm always ready to give him money. I'm not a stingy Jew, despite what Cartman thinks. I just don't loan money to fatasses._

_"One must pledge to love and support their SBF."_

_I do love Stan. It sucks to be in love with your best friend, but the upside is that I get to see him every day. And even when I move on, we'll still be friends. Knowing that makes me feel safe._

_Future Kyle, I hope you've found someone else to love by now. But if it's Cartman, so help me God, I will come back from the past and kick your ass into the next millennia! _

_Best wishes,_

_Kyle Broflovski (age 16)_

"Hey, fatass!" Twenty-five-year-old Kyle called over his shoulder. The (slightly chubby) brunette poked his head into the living room curiously. The red-haired man had been sitting on the couch, reading his letter from the past. Cartman had been off feeding the cats that lurked in the neighborhood- or more specifically, around their house. "According to Past Kyle, I'm not allowed to screw you!" Eric raised his eyebrows, indicating that Kyle should continue. "Yeah, he said he'd 'come back from the past and kick my ass into the next millennia.'"

"Wanna do it on the couch just to spite him?" Cartman suggested. His lover smirked.

"You know it."

---AvinxMile---

A/N: I... I'm so sorry! I just... Felt like writing this... I actually like Cartman/Kyle more than Stan/Kyle. It has more opportunities for kinky sex. By the way, to shamelessly advertise for one of my favorite stories, you should read Kyle In Chains by DanniDimont; one of my favorite authors! Go read her two stories, she's a goddess of Cartman/Kyle!

And now that I'm done being creepy, because I'm weirding myself out, it's off to bed for me! See you all later!


End file.
